A Christmas Peril
by Prathdrake
Summary: Snape is visited by the 3 spirits of Christmas, will he change? (Probably not.)
1. Past

A Christmas Peril   
  
by Prathdrake   
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A/N: A Dickens/Harry Potter fic! Hooray! Another thing. Look at the title. A Christmas Peril. get it? Christmas Carol/ Christmas Peril? Get it? *Noticing that no one does get it, he decides to go on with the story*   
********************************************************************************Legal Stuff: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or terms. This story is for entertainment purposes only. I do not intend to make a profit off it. (Isn't this stuff so boring? Now onto the story!)   
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It was Christmas eve. Snape looked at his clock. The time read 10:57 pm. Soon another Christmas would come and pass.   
  
"Boo Rumbug!" said Snape, "I hate Christmas! All anyone does is go around and sing ANNOYING carols!" Grumbling to himself, Snape fell asleep.   
  
****   
  
"Woooooooo! Woo-oooo-oooo-ooooo!" a voice came in the dead of night. Snape woke in a start.   
  
"What was that?" he asked.   
  
"Its meeeeeeeeee....." said a ghost-like voice.   
  
"Ummm..... Who is me?" asked Snape.   
  
"I am meeeeeeee........" said the voice a s a shining figure stepped out from behind a curtain.   
  
"Well, whoever you are, can you stop that annoying drawling?" said Snape.   
  
"Oh, sorry," said the shining figure in a normal voice. Suddenly, the shining figure turned into a girl.   
  
"What kind of being are you?" asked Snape.   
  
"I'm a spirit," said the girl, "And a darn good one at that!"   
  
"Well.... What's your name?" asked Snape.   
  
"Well you're silly,"said the girl, "What makes you think spirits have names?"   
  
"Sorry," said Snape, "I didn't know."   
  
"By the way, it's Carly," said the girl.   
  
"What is?" asked Snape.   
  
"My name," answered the girl.   
  
"I thought you said you didn't have a name," said Snape.   
  
"I didn't say that," said the girl, "I only meant you should be more careful about asking someone's name before you know they have one."   
  
"Oh," said Snape, "Thanks. And... ...why are you here?"   
  
"I am the Spirit of Christmas Past," said Carly, "I am here to show you how you used to be."   
  
"Oh, I see where this is going," said Snape, "You're going to grab me by the hand and we'll fly into the past, is that right?"   
  
"Nope," said Carly, "Spirits Inc. has upgraded since that incident with Mr. Scrooge. We're into electronics now!" Carly pressed a button on a yellow remote and a 70 inch large screen TV rose from the floor.   
  
"Cool!" exclaimed Snape, "Can I keep it?"   
  
"Sure," said Carly, "We've got plenty of 'em!"   
  
"Great!" yelled Snape.   
  
"Now, onto what I came here for," said Carly. She pressed another button and a documentary started up on the screen. The announcer's voice came up.   
  
"When Severus Snape was a little boy," it said, "He loved playing with the birds and animals in his back yard. He was a happy character who loved his mother and father. As he entered Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he found a new love, Lily Evans."   
  
"You can't show that to the readers!" yelled Snape.   
  
"Yes, I can," said Carly. The documentary went on.   
  
  
"Lily broke away from Severus when she learned he had joined forces with He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named."   
  
A picture was shown of Lily hugging James Potter and Snape hugging Voldemort. Snape looked embarrassed.   
  
"He he," he giggled embarrassedly, "Uh, where did you get that one from?"   
  
"Spirits Inc. has their ways," said Carly. The documentary ended with a picture of Snape with devil horns.   
  
"Now," said Carly, "To the moral. You've got to learn to be kind again, so someone will love you."   
  
"And why is that important?" asked Snape angrily.   
  
"If no one loves you, you won't get anything from anybody's will," said Carly, "And now I must go." A gust of wind blew out the light there was and Carly vanished.   
  
"Okay... ...weird," said Snape as he flopped over and went to sleep again.   
  
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A/N: End of chapter one. Wasn't that silly? I bet the other chapters will be better, though. I've got to go and post this on fanfiction.net. Please review. Thanks.   
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	2. Present

A Christmas Peril- Part 2   
  
by Prathdrake ********************************************************************************  
  
Snape was just got back to sleep when he was awakened by a hand shaking him.  
  
"Wake up!" a harsh voice grunted, "I haven't got all day... ..er... ...night!"   
  
"Who's that?" asked Snape as he turned over.  
  
"The Spirit of Christmas Present!"  
  
"Oh, go away!" said Snape.  
  
"If you don't get up," said the spirit, "I'll have to report you to Spirits Inc. and then they'll put a curse on you."  
  
"And what curse would that be?" asked Snape angrily.  
  
"They'll set He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named on you," answered the spirit.  
  
"Oh goodie!" exclaimed Snape, "A social visit!"  
  
"Then we'll... ...set... ...the Back street Boys on you," said the spirit. Snape sat up in terror.  
  
"I'm awake," Snape said quickly.  
  
"That's good," said the spirit, "Now..." He checked his list, "Are you Severus Snape?"  
  
"Yeah," said Snape, "You've got the right person. But what's your name... ..uh... ...if you have one, that is."  
  
"Yes I have a name," said the spirit, "My name is Dallin."  
  
"No offense," said Snape, "But what's with all these spirits having such modern names? Shouldn't you have a name like... ...Nicodemus or... ...Jacobuth?"  
  
"Nope," said Dallin, " I'm a new spirit. Only died a few days ago. At Spirits Inc. they only give you one day holiday and then they set you on your duties. It's a drag."  
  
"Yeah, I'll bet it is," said Snape.  
  
"Anyway," said Dallin, "I've come to do a job, now come with me." Snape got up and stepped out of bed.  
  
"Ahhh!" yelled Snape.  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Dallin.  
  
"Cold floors," answered Snape. Dallin sighed in disgust.  
  
****  
  
They were now by the picture of the Fat Lady.  
  
"Pimple-grit," said Dallin and the picture swung open.  
  
"Who comes up with those disgusting passwords?" asked Snape. Dallin didn't answer, but headed into the hole.  
  
"Now you've got to be very quiet," instructed Dallin.  
  
"Why," asked Snape, "No one's awake."  
  
"That's what you think," answered Dallin mysteriously. In a few steps, they were in the common room.  
  
"Quick," whispered Dallin, "Hide behind a chair." They hid behind two very large armchairs. Suddenly, the door from the Gryffindor boy's room started to open and out came...Harry and Ron. They both looked incredibly tired.  
  
"How many pages left of Potions do you have?" Ron asked.  
  
"Fifty-three," answered Harry, "I can't believe Snape gave us so much work!"  
  
"Yeah," said Ron, "I still have ninety-two pages left and it's already 2:00 am!"  
  
"Is it?" asked Harry, "Well, Happy Christmas, then."  
  
Author: It's Merry Christmas!  
  
Narrator: No it's not, we're in the UK.  
  
Author: Oh, right. Carry on then!  
  
"I hate Snape!" said Ron, "And you know what else? He thinks we don't notice how he only gave the Slytherins five pages of Potions! He's such an imbecile!"  
  
"Agreed!" said Harry. Dallin and Snape snuck out while Harry and Ron got absorbed in their papers.  
  
"See?" said Dallin, "Don't you care that they hate you?"  
  
"Not really," said Snape, "I enjoy being cruel!"  
  
"You admitted it!" pointed out Dallin.  
  
"Well I never said being cruel was mean!" yelled Snape.  
  
"Shhhhh," quieted Dallin, "And for your information, cruel is the same thing as mean."  
  
"How would you know?" asked Snape.  
  
"I'm a spirit," explained Dallin, "I know almost everything!"  
  
"Yeah, right," said Snape sarcastically.  
  
"Well, I've done my job," said Dallin disappointedly, "I'll leave you now." And he disappeared with a pop.  
  
"No! Don't go!" yelled Snape, "I'm...afraid of the dark!" With much trouble and a few encounters with Mrs. Norris, Snape eventually made it back to his room and snuggled under the covers.  
  
******************************************************************************** A/N: Wasn't that funny when Snape said he was afraid of the dark? I love that part! Wait for the third chapter. Who will be then next spirit? Will Snape reform? It's all on the next episode of A Christmas Peril! ******************************************************************************** 


	3. Future

A Christmas Peril- Part 3  
  
By Prathdrake  
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A/N: Fooooouuuuur Scoooooooore and seven years ago... Oh, sorry, wrong composition. In this chapter, the big decision comes. Oh yes! the big one! Will Snape reform? Or will he keep with his piggish ways? I know the answer, and you don't! Ha ha!  
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Snape's woke up about an hour after he had fallen asleep. He looked at his clock. It was 3:27 am. Snape got up and opened his one present, the one he had given himself.  
  
"I wondered what it is..." pondered Snape, "I really have no idea." He giggled at his own little 'joke'. He ripped off the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside was a crystal ball.  
  
"This isn't what I gave myself!" yelled Snape. A gray mist suddenly floated out of the orb.  
  
"I am the spirit of Christmas Future," wailed the mist.  
  
"What is with you spirits, anyway?" asked Snape angrily, "Are you here just to annoy me?"  
  
"Yes,' said the mist.  
  
"You learn something new everyday," Snape mumbled to himself. The mist slowly transformed into a personage.  
  
"Now that I'm decent," said the spirit, "We can get on with our business!" He grabbed the orb from the box.  
  
"Hey, that's mine!" shouted Snape, "You can't have it!"  
  
"Actually it's my home," explained the spirit, "Your real present is on the other side of the tree."  
Snape ran around the tree, grabbed the present and ripped out a box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans- Ear Wax Flavor.  
  
"What kind of an idiot would give a box of these?" asked Snape. Then remembering he gave them to his self, he decided to change the subject.  
  
"We need a formal introduction," said Snape, "My name is Sev-"  
  
"Severus Snape, I know," said the spirit, "And my name is-" (There was a drum roll)  
  
"-Joel"  
  
"Right,' said Snape, "Now get out of my site!"  
  
"Okay!" agreed Joel. He suddenly became invisible.  
  
"You like showing off, don't you?" asked Snape.  
  
"Yes, I do,' said Joel as the orb rose into the air, "Now let's look at your future. I see...I see...a funeral! A small funeral!"  
  
"How small?" asked Snape.  
  
"Veeeeeeeeery small..." answered Joel, "...No one has attended! The...the... preacher is... delivering the eulogy...to...to...an empty graveyard."  
  
"If this is my future," said Snape, "Then why aren't I there?"  
  
"Oh you're there," said Joel.  
  
"But you just said no one attended!" yelled Snape, "How can I be there, but not attending!? I must be...be...OH NO!"  
  
"Oh yes," said Joel, "You are the one in the coffin!"  
  
"How did I die?"asked Snape.  
  
"No," said Joel, "Dumbledore killed you 'cause he was tired of your whining about wanting to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" yelled Snape, "The terror! I'll change! I'll change! I'll never be cruel anymore! I'll give the Gryffindors back all the points I took from them! All two thousand and fifty-five! I promise! I'll chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaange!  
  
"That's good," said Joel. Then he whistled. Carly and Dallin floated through the window and stood by Joel. Suddenly they started to sing "Goodbye" ala Von Trapp style.  
  
"...So long! Farewell..."  
  
After they had sung the entire song, they added on another verse about doing their job and being successful. They flew out the window leaving Snape.  
  
"Well that was way too easy," said Snape, "And the good news is, I can avoid them 'till next year." He opened the door and skipped down the corridor to give Harry ten more pages of Potions.  
  
THE END  
  
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A/N: Tricked you! You thought Snape was gonna change. Well I fooled you gooooooooooood!  
I thought this chapter was the best of 'em all!  
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